Train, you've gotta go w madea. And that's all I have to say about that.
Hey daring. Thanks. I do feel better. I really can't think about their sitch- it will drive me crazy. I do get some uneasiness still, but it's much better. Heck, it's not like it is a comforting situation. So, I suppose it's to be expected.
Speaking of uneasy feelings... No good morning text today. I'm ok, but it does make me a little sad. But it's far from the end of the world. There is sometimes a moment of contemplation wondering if I should just say it (I never fell for it last year while db). I am only sharing this in case it could help someone. It is much easier to overcome that by thinking, so what? What would it accomplish if I sent it. He may respond, but it won't change is thinking or feelings. If he wants to initiate, he will.
I'm not sweating it, again, just a thought process that has been helpful to me. With that said, he is respecting my request of space. He is a guy who likes to know someone is there. He like to be in a r. He has this thing he feels he has to be. It's an abandonment thing, I presume. An insecurity. We had a discussion a little while back about how being insecure was one of the worst feelings. I hadn't ever really had it until bd. he always had, but was in MAJOR denial about it. Would have never in a million admitted it. But, he actually agreed that it is the worst feeling. Interesting convo.
But, he needs to rebuild, as do I. That needs to be done independently. Whether or not he is taking advantage of that opportunity or not is on him.
I do miss him. But it's not him now.
We have an appointment tonight w s17- all 3 of us. So I will see him tonight. Last night he came to see the kids. I was in my room. He came to tell me something. He stood in the doorway and didn't enter. He talked about work and what he had to tell me about an old friend, and other things. We were pleasant, but distant.
