Originally Posted By: Cadet
Why do you think this(anger) has anything to do with YOU?

Do you need to protect yourself - Absolutely

She is not angry at YOU, she is just angry. PERIOD!

This is all about her not about YOU.


I guess I'm letting her words get to me... But you are right and I do understand from everything I've learned about MLC that this is more about her than me -- including the anger... I've just been letting her words about her anger and bitterness get to me lately... I guess I just need to remember that she's really angry with herself or with something inside of herself even though she says she's angry and bitter with me over (insert past issue or current issue-of-the-day here)... I need to remind myself of that daily -- she is angry and unhappy, but until she is ready/able to face her own issues she will continue to project that anger outward onto me and blame me for ALL of her unhappiness.

It's just hard to keep that in mind on a day-to-day basis. God how I hate, hate, HATE MLC and the craziness that it causes...

It's probably hard for me to keep this in mind because one of my personal issues is that I prefer to avoid conflict -- and throughout our R/M I have always tried to keep the peace and avoid conflict... And I guess, despite what I have learned/am learning about MLC, I am maintaining this behavior/habit of trying to avoid the conflict by doing what I think will reduce the stress -- even if the stress really isn't about me but more about the storm going on inside of her.


Me 48, Her 50
(Same-Sex Couple)
3 Children
Together: 9.5 years before BD
BD: Week of 10/27/14
ExW started EA w OW 9/2014
ExW married OW 12/2015