MLCer and EA w/ OW

[Jer2911]

Hi Cadet --

Good questions... thanks for the pushback...

I really don't want to rush things at all. I would much rather prefer to wait until the end of the school year, but I also realize that the longer this goes on her anger and bitterness towards me seems to increase. Initially I had hoped that dragging this out would allow the EA to die off (because it's so long distance -- another country/continent) and that she might start to move forward through her MLC... But with bitterness/anger increasing towards me and the fact that she leaves on sunday for a trip that will shift the EA to a PA, I worry about long-term damage to any hope of rebuilding our R/M... Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I do worry about it... and I think it's easier for me to go back into denial than face that concern...

I guess maybe my question to myself is: How to reach/maintain acceptance while still living in the house (with the hope that we can wait until end of school year) and not fall back into denial...?

To be clear -- I am still holding firm on not moving out until I have a fulltime job, so the timing is out of my hands a bit. I am applying for jobs as they come open, but I can't make the school district move any faster than they normally do.

If I get lucky and get in for an interview really soon -- and get offered a position -- I am going to see if I can hold off official start date until beginning of March (at the earliest) so I can finish up a couple of consulting projects. At that point my request to my W will be to allow me to remain in the house for at least one month while working FT so I can build up a little more $$ to help with moving expenses. So there is a plan to drag things out a bit.

So now that I've written all of that out, I think what is different now is not so much a rush to get out, but a fear that I am making things worse (her anger and bitterness) and allowing myself to fall back into denial (which might cause me more pain as I come back out of the denial)... does any of that make any sense?...

I really haven't had my coffee yet this morning... Maybe I'm just still in early morning brain fog...