I'm afraid that until I actually move out, I won't fully be in the Acceptance stage of this process...
Posted below on 1/7/15
Originally Posted By: Jer2911
Oh -- as long as I am in the house, I am not leaving the master bedroom. I am not the one choosing to break apart this family and refusing to work on rebuilding our marriage. I made THAT decision to remain in the MBR back in October at BD :-)
The house is a bit more tricky... because my income has always been lower, when we purchased it the title was drawn up with me owning a much smaller percentage because we always knew she would pay the mortgage. I can't afford this house on my own -- even with a full-time job. I will have to move out eventually. She has already threatened legal action if I don't accept the buyout offer.
I don't have a problem with the buyout offer -- I have a problem with moving anywhere without a full-time job and doing so before the end of the school year which will create disruption for the kids. My concern is with the kids and my wellbeing/ability to support myself without her assistance. Her concern right now is herself and her "happiness." She has offered to co-sign a lease for me, but I think that is just ridiculous. I am dealing with someone who likes to control EVERYTHING... I am now realizing there may also be some narcissistic behavior issues here (maybe minor NPD), but maybe that is a part of the MLC...
I will admit though that there is another motive to dragging this out to the end of the school year -- the OW is much younger and the A, so far, has only be EA and very long distance (they've never met in person), and I am hoping that with time the OW will find this less-than-ideal and eventually find someone her own age who can give her a real relationship. Most of us who have some life experience would never be in this for this long -- we would see my W's current sitch and behavior as big red flags -- but to someone very young (mid-20s), especially this OW that I actually know quite a bit about (long story there), there just isn't enough life and relationship experience to see or understand the red flags.
So why is it different now than two weeks ago? You were waiting until the end of the school year. Why are you rushing things and pushing?
