Train, are You OK??

[Train]

Starsky, out of curiosity, where are you guys in NJ? My BIL lives there; I've only visited once.

[sandi2]

She said very true words. When I had to go through all that when my mother died, It was just my sister and and I to take care of things. We didn't haven't anyone to come lend support. Yet, when my H's brother died a couple of yrs ago he and the other brothers gathered around their SIL to give her support. I was a little hurt at none of or H's or son's thought it was necessary to be there with during all of putting it together, I was walking out out of the home to keep thr app't with the funeral home director, when my H (who was still in his sleepwear) asked if he needed to go with me. I knew he had no been feeling well, so I told he him he didn't have to (and was obvious we didn't feel up to going. But actually it stung a little that he was not by my side in that difficult time.

So, proud of you Starsky, Mrs. Starsky is blessed to have you there with with her.

[Train]

^^^ She's right, ya know ...

[twinmom]

Starsky, my thoughts and prayers to you and your family today. I pray for your MIL to have peace and it's wonderful she has family to support her.

[Mighty]

Train- I FOUND YOU!

and....

I am.

checking.

you.

out.

OK, so this:

I used to try to *control* HIM instead of protecting ME.

In your earlier post. Ahem. Yeah. That's good stuff. That's, what I believe, I had been doing the past couple. I can see much more clearly with the step back. I dig that. Gonna put it on my thread as a reminder.

Thanks, chica.

[Train]

MIGHTY!!!!!! You arrived!

Hey, sista! So glad to hear from you.

Those "steps back" (which are actually steps FORWARD) are so powerful. And (eventually) relieving. I'm SO glad you're on top of when you need to do that for your own peace of mind.

You, my friend, are lightyears ahead of where I've ever been I'm still stalking - uh, I mean, checking on - you! xoxo

[twinmom]

How is your daughter doing?

[Train]

She's doing well, twin! Thanks for asking.

She's almost 25 weeks along now and working a full-time job. She has recently had some second-thoughts about her planned career-path, but I'm hoping she will decide to enroll in classes at the community college at least by next fall.

She's feeling pretty vulnerable, which is taking her by storm because she's usually much more happy and independent. The father of her child is continuing to text her and pull her around by her nose without (still) actually showing his face around here; we still haven't met him. And she's *allowing* him to do this, which is a major sticking-point between the two of us right now. I'm having to use some of my DB tools in my relationship with D18; a 180 is to back off and realize this is her life, her path and her journey. If she wants to delay the inevitable and continue to allow him to do this to her, then it's her business. I wish she'd block his number; he knows where she lives and could find her if interested. But he's planning to leave next fall to attend college two hours away. Ain't no baby gonna change HIS life plans ... but he still won't commit to relinquishing his paternal rights. I guess we'll see what side of the fence he falls on once he receives his first round of paperwork for child support this spring. It'll be kinda hard to pay child support without a job. His parents pay his college tuition, his car payment and his cell phone bill. So, yeah. Winner winner chicken dinner.

Considering the circumstances - and with the exception of my D18 having a wet-noodle spine right now - I'm awfully proud of her. She's growing and changing and handling this really big change with grace and dignity. She's handling it A LOT better than I did when I was pregnant with HER at 18.