I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[Frank75]

Hi Frank, welcome.

Thanks Sandi. I realize and accept the fact that I am a major source of these issues, but also it takes 2 to talk. When she did bring up these issues it was more from a place of "i'm unhappy, there's nothing you can do about it" and i would try my hardest at that time to talk to her, to get her to see that it is possible to be happy together etc. I didn't ignore her. What I meant was the next day we'd get up and we just wouldn't discuss it since we're both not confrontational So I'd avoid it because the last thing i wanted was another day of tears, not listening to each other and stuff like that. I know it took her a long time to get to that breaking point, trust me. And i know that i didn't do myself or my relationship any favors by acting like this.

This would be so much easier if i didn't love her so much and if we had just a bitter/angry relationship. It would hurt but i'd walk away. As it stands though, i just can't. I'm not a controlling person, and she's very headstrong....even if i was controlling she wouldn't have any of it. I think if anything I just kept letting go more and more so i didn't seem like i was trying to smother her. Another mistake? Probably. In my emails i haven't tried to convince her of anything, i'm a man of few words (another fault) so i just tried to lay out how I felt, things i should have said before, explaining where i'm coming from. I never asked her to change her decision or anything like that. I just wanted to her to know what was going on in my head since i tend to be better at speaking from the heart in emails rather than off the cuff.

Thanks for the advice/info/tough love. I always welcome other points of view.