Separation Hell.

[susana4]

Hi Loli04, I'm really new here and only read Michele's book 2 weeks ago so I'm not sure how much help I can be but I'll try.

First I'll suggest you move this post over to the 'newcomers' forum, which seems to see a lot more activity.

Second, I know 2 weeks feels like a long time when you're in it and it's awful being stuck in limbo, but from what I've seen/read that's not long at all, and it takes a lot of people months to get things back on track. Almost all my friends told me after a month that it was 'too long to be in limbo' and I should give up, but it didn't feel right to me, and I'm so glad I found Michele's book and this forum. You'll see when you read the book that it's a long process.

First things first, it's really good you're taking care of yourself. You said you realised you did your fair share - what did you contribute? And how can you change?

As far as the mid life crisis, it is possible. In the book Michele states they can occur as early as 35 (my husband is only 28 but I have thought he was having some sort of mid life crisis! I think it's more identity crisis though). There's a section in Divorce Remedy that deals with mid life crises.

My advice for now would be:
-read the book (there's a link to the first chapter on this forum if you want to make a start)
-think about what YOU can change, and how you've contributed, and actions you can take to change. You mentioned you're insecure, maybe you can start by working on this?
-carry on doing this for yourself and getting out

Good luck and hang in there. Also there are some success stories around the forum, which I found really helpful to read. They gave me hope!