Hp, awaken the inner kid in you! I am not kidding. Go for a night stroll in the snow. Try to catch flakes with your tongue. Listen how the falling snow absorbs all the usual sounds. Perhaps you did not know this, but every flake is unique, no 2 are the same. And there is nothing like making a fresh trail in the deep fresh snow, so you can be the first somewhere where the snow can prove that no one has been there before you. Stay on the wagon, the hard stuff will not help you.
GAL dude, GAL. Go do stuff, go do stuff for you, vent here, we hear you our LBS brother. We know your pain. You are not alone.