Trying to stay patient- part 8

[LITB]

So my birthday has come and gone. Received a text from W around 4 pm yesterday wishing me a happy bday and hoped I was doing something fun with the kids (we met my parents for dinner). I simply responded 'Thanks'. Not sure what it means, but I've noticed that my mood drops when I do hear from her...

Happy belated birthday Tarheel!!

Your mood drops, because you have an expectation. When it does't go the way you hope, you find yourself disappointed.

Also received a happy bday text around 10pm from W's BFF (who was seen at dinner with OM a month ago). Maybe it's childish, but I didn't respond. I admit that I struggle with the balance of showing love/forgiveness and speaking up (or in this case not speaking) when someone has hurt me.

I can definitely understand how you would feel betrayed by your W's BFF. I felt the same way. What I later found out, is that some of my W's friends were in my corner.

Not saying that your W's friend is encouraging her one way or the other. We don't know, but let's not assume....and if you possibly recon with your W, it might be awkward to be around her BFF. Food for thought.

A simple text would have sufficed. Really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Did not hear anything from MIL, which was somewhat surprising. I don't believe I mentioned it here, but I sent her an email shortly after Christmas. I didn't see her at all when she was in town, so thanked her for the gift she got me. I also explained that finding out that she funded W's trip to FL with OM over the summer was hurtful. Also mentioned that I missed her and her family and hoped I'd get to see them at some point down the road. My email wasn't as blunt as what I wrote above and looking back over it today, I don't regret anything I wrote. She never responded.

Your MIL most likely knows everything going on from your W's perspective, and her daughter comes first. I'd suggest limit your contact with her for now.

Unfortunately, and sadly, a lot of relationships are affected with separations. Just be cautious, what you say, and to who you say it to.

Sent W an email this morning asking her to contribute to some of the shared bills I've been paying. Knowing that she can barely afford her living expenses right now, I'm preparing myself for the spew that she'll respond with, but I can't continue to pay her expenses that we are both responsible for (insurance, loan payoff, etc). Actually she just responded with a breakdown of her monthly income/expenses and asked how she's supposed to contribute anything. How do I respond?? I want to say that this was your choice, so figure it out on your own...

This was one of my biggest fear. I didn't want to pay more than what was required. The reality was that I was already doing my part.

The best thing that I can suggest, is to have an attorney run the spousal/child support calculations. When you are armed with this info, your W can't hold it over your head to get what she wants.