I just caught up on our post. My W and I are in a similar spot. We are coexisting and having fun but I know I am more into the R than she is. She says she loves me (normally in response to me saying it but she has left me a few messages where she ends the voicemail with "love you") but I sense that she is not "in love" with me.
I also have the same text relationship with my W. I want more from her b/c it is a common courtesy between husband and wife. I also want her to want to text/call me. But, she has to want to do those things. Asking her for it may provide some assurance but does it really help in the long term if she is doing it b/c you asked for it rather than b/c she wants to.
I think both of us see how to fix the M but our wives do not see it so clearly. It still will take a ton of time so I agree with your assessment to look at the positives and the changes in the past 6-12 months. But, don't let your self worth rely on these interactions. Don't let her feelings for you determine whether you have a good day or not.
Me: 40, W: 40 M: 15, T: 18 D - 10, S - 7 D announcement 6/7/2014 A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W) Still living together and sharing same bed
