The loss of my wife and friend, the pain that it will cause the kids, the not knowing if she is dating, if I date will it affect her, not seeing my children 50% of the time, lack of coping mechanisms (healthy ones) on my part, telling our friends and family, legal matters...
Hrd...right now, not much that I say, or anyone says, is going to make much of a difference to how you feel.
What I will tell you though, is all of that ^^^ is completely normal, and most of us have felt that pain before.
Most of what you describe though, has already happened. Whether she lives there or not, she has been emotionally "gone" for quite some time now.
The kids ? Yes, that is the sukc part of it, yet I will say that how you handle this (whether you "feel" it or not), will speak volumes about how they handle it.
Dating ? yea....NO. You aren't ready for that, and why would you involve somebody else in this mess, when you aren't emotionally available for anything.
Now....Coping skills ?
Yea, now you are talkin buddy. That is something that you have some control over.
What steps are you taking to find those skills ?
Originally Posted By: Hrdtims
She has stated things like "I want you to find someone" "I cannot love you the way that you do me" and "I do not see myself with you for the rest of my life"
I hope that you can see, that this really does have more to do with her than it does with you.
Finding someone, will help her relieve the guilt that she is feeling right now.
And make no mistake, this isn't easy for her. She is struggling greatly inside.
Everything that she said up there ^^^ , that is the way that she feels today, and it doesn't mean that they are forever.
Things can change, and people can change. What happens today, does not define tomorrow. YOU play a large role in tomorrow..
Just because she moves out now, does not mean that she can't move back in one day...
Just because THIS marriage is over, doesn't mean that you won't have a better, more meaningful marriage to her in the future...
The key, is to work on how you can work through yourself, and heal, and grow...
So what are some things that YOU can do for you ???
