I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[Frank75]

It's totally understandable, Frank. It feels to me like a part of my life turned on me and abandoned me. Like my left arm suddenly decided it didn't want to be part of my body anymore.

Try to back off for the next few days - if you've poured your heart out, anything else is going to push her away. Get out with friends and talk to people if you can. Remember that she isn't trying to hurt you, and for her this is just all about her right now. Try to find a few things that bring you peace and happiness right now - a walk in nature, fishing, whatever it is - I know it sounds absurd but it's much more productive (in all kinds of ways) then the panic if you can force yourself to do it.

Thanks, part of our issue is that we live in the middle of nowhere (really). No neighbors, no real friends here. We're both introverts anyway so it was never an issue. Part of the reason for moving here was to escape corporate life. I don't think that had any sort of involvement here though other than maybe just forcing us to finally deal with these issues.

I work from home too so i sit here all day trying to get things done and it's just a constant bombardment of thoughts and memories. I haven't tried calling her or anything, the only thing i've done is write 3 emails since she left.

Oh and today I logged in to pay credit card bills. I never pay attention to finances, i just always left it up to her. Well this morning i noticed that the day before she left she took half of our savings and deposited into a new account and also that none of her paychecks have gone into our joint account for the last year. So now i feel even more betrayed and this is probably one of the reasons she's laying low. This is TOTALLY unlike her, she's in crisis mode or something. I mean, we didn't have a big blow up before all of this. There's no confrontations of any kind. She didn't even bring up being unhappy for months....she just up and left along with half of our money. I'm not even going to bring it up with her right now because it's not worth it right now. It's just so sad right now that someone you trusted your life with can just turn on you like that NOT having a good morning right now.