Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD - pt. 2

[gogofo]

We talked about how to split possessions ect. last night. I asked her what happened between us. Then I asked her if she was always faithful. She denied being physical with OM again, but said they had been talking about life, etc. together. So the EA started up. She said they talked again when school started, not during our last attempt.

It is hard to believe that we could be at this point in our R. We still have a strong deep bond. I told her flat out how I felt about her and us and our potential. I told her I did not believe that D is the answer. I told her I would be moving out, but not do "make" me sign the papers.

She isn't taking me for anything. Said she just wants a clean break. She thinks it is the answer to her problems.

It is going to be hard, but going dark and dropping the rope is all that is left. I will have to focus hard with the STFU because all I want to do is talk R with her, show her that I am fighting for us. It will be hard to change my mind set from showing her the fight in me to fighting by going dark.

I have tip-toed around her for the last couple of months scared that I would say or do something to break us. Now that I am "already dead", I am not scared to say anything about how I feel. I have to learn to fight this feeling now and go dark.

I just have to believe that this will be my only direction that may help, as counter intuitive as it feels.