Mighty....I so understand what you mean about closure. A MLC split is different than a WAS. I was invested in my marriage and I tried very hard to make it work. I was in shock when we actually separated and thought at some point he will come to his senses. I too felt like I was still a wife. We are not yet divorced but that didn't stop my H. from moving from his AP to a new GF.
We had coffee Jan 1 and for the first time I did feel closeure. My H is as confused as yours. He still has feelings for me and is attracted to me but is curious and wants to date. He imploded the only family his 13 yr old daughter ever had but that doesn't matter. He fought to have her full time and leaves her sitting upstairs ever night until 7 or 8 pm waiting for company and attention. Oh and maybe dinner? He goes to to work and stays out at least twice a week until 10pm leaving her home alone. He left the dogs home for 48 hrs in the house while he went skiing.
MLC = narrisstic behavior. Many of us here are patient, loving people wanting to help our spouses get well and return home. We owe it to ourselves and our children to teach them what a healthy relationship is, what boundaries are and how to except only what serves us.
Distance is your friend. It helps when the contact is less. I haven't spoken to my H. Since our talk. I dropped the rope. I am happier.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
