Thank you for sharing your story and don't feel like its a hijack. It is helpful former to have a male perspective as well. I know that my H feels the way you describe. I just don't know how to fix it. I do appreciate him. I have told him more so than ever since R because I specifically remember Woundedfool telling me during S to use the word appreciate so he hears it.
I need/want him to step up and be the man. Do you think I like asking about the money from his boss? Absolutely not. I wish he would take care of it and I didn't have to get involved. But he hasn't so I felt I needed to step in especially since he's talking of leaving the place. But trust me I do not want to be the man in the R I want my H to take charge. I am fine with that. I don't want all the responsibility I don't want to nag him or have to ask him to take care of things. Before he used to say he wanted to help with the bills because he felt I controlled all the bills. So he took over a few ... We had late payments on every single one. Sorry I'm blabbering. My point is I would Be so happy if he told me what he needed but I dont. I know there are things I can fix as Cat has pointed out but in the longterm I want to know what he needs from me to be happy.
I do want him to be happy. I want him to look forward to coming home. I don't want him to have to be stressed or depressed all the time. I wish he could talk to me before he got into such a deep place.
I have commited to doing nothing but sometimes I fear that H will take it as me giving up on him.
Thank you ... I hope for the best for you. These things change everyday.
