Cat I will touch more on everything in a bit but we had sex almost every day, I reciprocated his love and affection.
The list I made is for me ... For bringing up in IC so that I can remmeber some of the things that bother me because a lot of times I forget things easily. H knows of no list and I normally am not a list maker - I don't even make one for groceries
I busted my Ass too when H came back besdies what was portrayed or relayed.
Controlling would be asking H where he was all the time, texting him repeatedly, wanting to know ehere he is when he comes home late every weeknight. I would have made him change his phone number and get on our old phone account so I could Check his records if need be like we both agreed on in MC. Instead he came up with excuses why he couldn't - which ended up being my fault according to him. I asked to be included about the car ... No he doesn't need my permission nor would I say yes or no but to make a large purchase we had discussed in counseling at the C recommendation to talk with each other on purchases over 200.
Everyone welcomed H with open arms. His needs that I know of, from what he had told me, were met. He comes home as he pleases. I do 95% of childcare. I take the kids to school everything g is taken care of including dinner for him when he gets home on the days I'm off. He doesn't do laundry or lift a finger in or outside this house. On the days I work my father watches the boys and takes care of the house while we work. Short of that I don't know what more he wants. I don't even ask for help with the kids anymore because it to me is a waste of time. He sleeps in and doesn't drive our oldest to school like He used to. If I did ask he would say he needed to get to work so I stopped asking.
The money situation involves H, it's his boss- I just the check signer. He is just as involved in it and told me since October he would take care of it so the last few weeks I have been asking about it since it's been a few months now with no results and we could use the money to complete our bathroom that had to be gutted for the hot water repair.
Am I perfect? Nope.. But H comes and goes as he pleases, does want he wants, is not active in this M unless he needs something. I'm choosing to let it go and do. nothing.
I'm not his mother... His behavior last night was that of a child acting out in a store. I'm Not talking to you and that's it. He cannot have a conversation when it doesn't yield the results he wants. He has no problem telling me things and expecting Me to listen (which i do) but whenever the tables are turned one calm sentence is arguing.
You would walk away f someone asked you to stop playing games? Sleeping with your phone In your pocket after you had an affair, coming home late, showing up with a new car after you couldn't even make your half of the house payment?
Was it the right time to ask? No.
His answer of controlling is whenever he hears what he doesn't want to hear. I feel I've been pretty understanding given everything that's gone on during when he came back. I hadn't brought up the affair besides when we wer going to marriage counseling and discussing it with MC
Feel free to pick on me all you want, no problems here
And H does owe me something - his word. He should be just as active in this marriage or at least tell me what he needs from me. When he keeps telling me it's not me and he's jjst stressed and doesn't know its hard to fix. He can't even give the C an answer.
I think I deserve to be told what he needs if he is going to be angry with me for not meeting his needs.
He used to feel I didn't support him in his job. He wanted to start up his own business. I have been telling him Since octoberwe should sell some things and he should take the money to start it up.
He says no, he doesn't want to. Its like no matter what I can't make him Happy. I offer something he said he wanted then it's no. It's like he just brings things up to have something to hate me over
