You have to think the worst. And the worst is that she will not see any changes, and you will get no validation for your hard work. Someone smart once said, do you want to be married or do you want to be right. It no longer matters who is right or wrong it is only about reconnecting.
When you do talk to her, even better see her. Use Sandi's Rules... Act as though you have had an awakening and that you are moving on. Have fun, crack jokes, be mysterious. Do not give her the key to identify what you are doing. Be the best version you possibly can and break the ice if you can.
From my own experience, it is really hard to be the best version of yourself for an hour, when you are still developing that person. But at this point, being that person as though you always were is the most important thing.
After you have read DB and DR, check out The Solo Partner. It is a great book with worksheets on the pursuer distancer relationship. Definitely a good read.
