Good that you are in counseling and making progress. Don't stop working on it.

I understand what you mean about having to live without her would mean that you would need to stop loving her. I told you what I did b/c sometimes a newcomer feels that to stop loving their spouse is just too much to even consider. I wanted you to know you were not being asked or suggested to stop loving her.

I know this must feel unbearable, but many people have come here and learned how to cope. Your life can get much better, even if that's hard to visualize at the moment.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!