Hi Frank, I'm new here as well and I'm still learning my way around things. It sounds really awful, I'm so sorry you're going through this too. It really hurts so much in the beginning. I'm still learning everything but if I could give you any advice it would be to not write any more emails. After my H dropped the bomb I had the same reaction - wrote 2 long emails (8000+ words!). I express myself better in writing and there was so much I wanted to get out. I pleaded and begged in the emails, tried to remind him of the good times etc., insisted we should try and work things out. He never replied. Even so, I still sent another long email a few weeks later when he went to visit his family - that one he didn't even acknowledge! Now having read DR I see that was the worst thing I could have done.. Once you read the books you'll see the technique recommended is to not push/try to convince. I know it's really hard especially when you're completely in shock and it feels counterintuitive but the best thing is to not contact her.
I don't know if it will help you, but after my H told me (and I sent the emails) he went away for the weekend and I invited my friends over and spent several days with them going over everything. It really helped me to get all my thoughts out, but not vent them at him. Or you can start a journal, just to get everything out, but not share with her? Good luck.
Me 28 / H 28 M 1 / T 2.5 BOMB 12-3-14 "I don't feel like myself any more" Still living together, separate rooms.
It really hurts so much in the beginning. I'm still learning everything but if I could give you any advice it would be to not write any more emails. After my H dropped the bomb I had the same reaction - wrote 2 long emails (8000+ words!). I express myself better in writing and there was so much I wanted to get out. I pleaded and begged in the emails, tried to remind him of the good times etc., insisted we should try and work things out. He never replied. Even so, I still sent another long email a few weeks later when he went to visit his family - that one he didn't even acknowledge! Now having read DR I see that was the worst thing I could have done.. Once you read the books you'll see the technique recommended is to not push/try to convince. I know it's really hard especially when you're completely in shock and it feels counterintuitive but the best thing is to not contact her. 