Doing the limbo thing (thread #8)

[shodan]

I received some great advice from a friend of mine who recently went through a divorce. It goes along with the GAL/detach components of DB (so nothing new to anyone on this forum). Specifically, he told me to focus on loving myself again and forgiving myself for my role in this situation. He said once I feel love for myself, it will shine outwardly, which will draw people in. He quoted from MLK, who said "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that."

Further, he said to just let her go. Love her but let her go. Allow myself to find happiness. The pain inside is killing me. The pain is present because I still have hope that this M will work. While I want that, I need to let go and find myself again. Perhaps the M does work out. But maybe it does not.

So what does this mean practically? It means assuming that I already lost her and just moving forward with my life. It means traveling for work and planning things with my kids on the weekends. It means finding the old Shodan. Frankly, it is everything that has been drilled into my head by all of you. I just need to do a lot more of it, and more consistently.

There is nothing that I need from my W to be happy and to be whole.