I found a love that I have lost, found it again because of the most hurtful circumstances. Our lives drifted because of the everyday stresses. I started living my life with her in it rather than living my life with her. Work, debt, house and a child. Finding myself trying to build my life over again under difficult circumstances. A daughter that needs me, I need her. No where to go, no one to talk to. I'm trying to give wife space, not pressuring her. She assures me that it's all over but yet there is a change of clothes hidden in her trunk. Trying to emotionally control myself. Trying to concentrate on my well being but depression, anger and anxiety are severely consuming me. Having outbreaks of rage pushing her further away. It's been one month since I discovered. Time, my life, my love, my dreams are all slipping away, being wasted. Consuming more alcohol, thoughts of ending my life are more frequent but I have my little girl keeping my spirits alive. Living, playing and nurturing her everyday. In return I get hugs, kisses, laughs and the term of endearment "I love you daddy"! This pain is awful, my head is spinning in circles. My emotions running wild. All I want is to start a new life. Leave the past behind and no resentment. She shows me affection time to time giving me some hope but it's just not enough. I want more, time is wasting and going by so slow.
