My reaction albeit needs improvement but is different from before BD
Different....how?
Different better ?
Better for whom ?
Different worse ?
Worse for whom ?
Different...parallel ???
Same tricks, new pony ???
Originally Posted By: TO324
I'm not excusing my behavior. I just don't see me being able to really shove it under the rug anymore than that. I feel if I don't nip it now he will continue to do this and i can't live in a M this way. I feel my needs are always on the back burner and I keep molding the way he wants things so he doesn't get upset. If I reacted like I really wanted everyday he probably wouldn't be in the house.
So you say that you are not excusing your behavior...
And then spend the remaining paragraph making excuses for your behavior..
Pot or Kettle today ???
You say that you can't sweep issues under the rug anymore...
Whose issues ??
Yours ??
His ??
Are your issues -pertaining to the Marriage- more important than his ???
I am sure that yours are more important to you. Expecting HIM to make yours a priority, completely invalidates HIS issues...
And maybe remind me again...What exactly are his issues ????
At some point, you have to realize that his issues, are not necessarily your issues, nor are your issues , his issues..
Maybe the same concerns, yet you are trying to control him into dealing with things, the way that you do...not gonna work...
I see you consistently trying to apply YOUR fix, for HIS problems...
And until you can see that for yourself, you are gonna keep driving that square peg....
So maybe get back to DB101 here...
What are some goals that you can set, for yourself...
What can you do differently, for yourself...
How can you validate better, for yourself...
How can you stop destructive thoughts...
How can you focus on applying..what works..
How can you avoid going down those cheeseless tunnels...
So maybe not getting back to, as much as starting to DB ??
