Do I tell him all I know?

[BrightFuture]

Hey Sonas, I said that “in a different way” about my GFs story to distinguish between her and the similarities between yours and my.
Here you go. You said this about OW:

He seems to have stopped trying to have relationships with much younger woman and wants the original OW back. She is single, divorced a long time, has her own income and is not dependent on anyone. She also seems like a nice person who genuinely cares about H but wants him to sort himself out and end his relationship with me. Maybe she is what he needs and I am not.

So, my GF is a nice person, educated, smart and I love her. However, I never understood why she got involved with a married man. I will start with the current status of that. He divorced his first W and married my GF, and that marriage is still continuing for about 15 years now. Let me tell you that it is not a happy M. I will elaborate as I tell the story.

My GF was 26 when she met her current H, she was divorced, and had 5-year old daughter. They met in one of the Eastern countries, on a project. He is 23 years older. At the time he was still married to his first wife, they have 3 kids. His story was very similar to your H’s. He travelled for work for a long time. Lived in the Middle East for years. His wife was with him until the kids were old enough to start school. She moved back to US with the kids, and he continued to travel. Just like your H, he was coming home every 6-8 weeks for a week or two.

When my GF met him, he told her that the R with his wife was over and that they were pretty much separated. He didn’t tell her that he was not officially divorced. When my GF found out about it, she demanded that he would tell his W about their relationship. Which he did. So, his W knew about my GF’s existence.

My GF also told me, that before her, he had a R with another woman in another country, who he went on vacation with and was visiting once in a while.

So, as you can see, very similar story. He worked overseas, came home to his family, had affairs, and lied. I think he just wanted to have another fling with my GF, but she got serious. There was some dynamic going on for a while, when she told him that she didn’t want to see him anymore, because he was not serious about their R, then he would promise more, and so on. When he was leaving from that project, he had to make a decision. So, he brought her over to the country and started the D process with his first W.

I don’t remember who initiated the D process, but I remember my GF told me what she learnt a few years later. The first W’s layer actually advised her not to rush with the D. He told her to wait it out and that this fling with “young Russian chick” would end on its own. This is actually pretty significant, because it came from a D attorney. I think that the first W was very much fed up with the whole thing, so she signed the D papers.

Then my GF and this guy got married, so she could be legalized in the country. I think if not for that, he would be dragging his feet with this marriage.

I have some more insight and the rest of the story. Need to take a break. I’m not that good of a writer, so bear with me.