It seems when I'm quiet and distance myself it's easier for him to act out
With my stbxw, the more she acted out/spewed/etc, the faster she burnt it out of her system....
Quote:
I feel i can't vring up things that upset him because of his reaction and how it will make him upset and pull away more. But things (responsibilities, bills, kids, logistics) have to be discussed at times and I feel he goes 0-60 in shutting me out when he doesn't want to hear it.
How about setting up 1 day a week/every other week to quickly go through logistics... make a bullet pointed list....bam, next, bam, next... do not dally or get off topic...and expecting nothing in a way of a reaction (good, or bad) from him? Just business.
The line between being a loving, kind, compassionate person, and being a doormat is razor-thin and blurry as heck. And unique to each of us. Everyone has their own line, and everyone steps on the doormat side sometimes until you figure out where that line is, for you and your sitch.
Sometimes, a marital crisis forces us to re-examine where we used to think that line was, and if it is still appropriate for where we are NOW.
Last edited by TSquared2; 01/20/1505:05 PM.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
