Strong EA after 2 yrs M #2 - The journey begins

[Complex]

I am now after I hit rock bottom. Before I was so angry and confused. I even downloaded a dating app just over a week ago out of desperation for acknowledgment. Which she found out and accused me of a double standard. And she was right.
I deleted it again and decided to stand for for my own values and my committment.
Now I just have to continue to DB and love until she hopefully notices my changes. It will take time. In the meantime she probably thinks all her actions are justified now.

I feel bad this morning. Hardly got out of bed. Maybe also because I worked out yesterday.
The main problem I have is my stomach. It's in constant pain. Like painful butterflies. For over a week now, it doesn't stop at all and makes me feel very numb. I don't eat nearly as much as I used to. First few days after rock bottom I hardky ate anything...