Dear, lovely Pink. I'm so, so sorry to read this. What an awful shock for you, and traumatic to come face to face with your H and OW. That's horrible. I have had many horrible moments in my sitch, but haven't actually seen my H and his OW together - that must really hurt a lot.
As you say, what you did probably isn't DB - but you are right, you may not have DB'd, but you certainly busted your H - and I admire that you took steps because you felt you were being lied to.
And your instinct was right - as our instincts so aften are in these situations. Your H wasn't telling the whole truth - as many of our WAS's haven't. I read somewhere on this board, that WAS's normally tell something approaching the truth - but rarely all of it.
Has your H tried to contact you at all since this happened? In a way, it puts your sitch in a more 'honest' place. You know what is happening, and he knows that you know. And he was clearly pretty shaken up - as I'm sure were you. I think you did well to let him see you and then calmly drive away.
You probably also put a spanner in the works of their little rendezvous. He and her both knowing that you know also changes the dynamic. Their R is no longer 'secret and exciting' - you are aware, and that starts to change things IMO...
This must have been quite a shock and a trauma for you. Right after a shock and a trauma isn't a good time to make big decisions - it's a good time to look after yourself, and get to a steadier place before you decide what you want to do longer term.
I wish I lived just down the road and could come over for a coffee and a big chat with you. But know that I am sending you every good wish from here. Know also, that you have many, many special qualities and will find happiness in your life going forwards.
Toots ((((((((((PINK)))))))))))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
