To me....MLC is used pretty loosely to encapsulate things that can't be explained, that our partners "do".
Is it a real deal ?
I think so, just not in the context of it being over and done, like in one episode of "Roseanne". Where Dan goes through MLC because he wanted a new truck or something....
To me, MLC is deeper, and more disturbing because of the layers that cover it up. MLC is a depression from deep within a person, typically stemming from unresolved childhood issues.
Typically, it manifests from a disturbed, life transition along the way.
We all transition several times in our lifetime, from infancy to a toddler, from a toddler to a child, from a child to a tween, to a teen, and so on, and so on....
Most of us transition rather smoothly through those stages in our life. That is, if the conditions are right, and we have guidance, and support through those. With MLC, something in that equation didn't happen smoothly. There was an "incident", or the loss of a Parent, or something that caused a transition to be missed.
MLC (to me), is a depression, that manifests outwardly, and questions every facet of one's life, searching for that lost transitional period. It attacks at the core of a person's belief system, and challenges everything that is safe within a person, including decision making, morals, family, etc...
MLC is just a term, and it can happen at any age in a person's life. There is no starting date, or ending date that is later, or earlier. MLC is a individual as the person that is going through it. That is also the reason that it has become so debated amongst professionals pertaining to the existence of it. There is no one way, that a person navigates through.
Although there are certain "scripts" that tend to be followed. I am in no way saying that I think that your spouse is going through MLC either...cause I don't...
If I were to bet on it, and you want to know what goes through a Man's head at times...
I would say that your spouse is feeling really trapped by life right now, he is early 30's (?), and been with you for about 10 years ? The last time that he sniffed freedom( in his mind), he was a young strapping guy, who had the whole world in front of him. Cars to buy, places to go, beer to drink, and then his life turned upside down when he met you. Cars were put in hold, places became dreams, and then you had children. Job, house, wife, bills, kids, and hell, he was just a kid himself, how could he possibly raise a child ?
Daily life wore him down, single friends doing the things that he had to put on hold, guys at work talking about their adventures around the water cooler. He IS trapped ( in his mind). Life was supposed to be so much more than this. And to top that off ? His life is slipping away, because he is getting older...
And nobody has ever gone through this, not like he is. And the ONE person that he was supposed to be able to confide in, doesn't really "get" him anymore. HIS wants and needs aren't the number one priority anymore. All he hears is nag, nag, nag. He tries to talk with you, and rather than validate, and try to understand, you remind him of the "wrong" that he has done that day, or the bill that he has to pay. And after time, that culminates within a Man....
Now, in no way am I saying that this is him, or you....
What I am saying is, that those thoughts ^^^ , have at one time or another, gone through any Man's head. And if they say that they haven't, then they are lying about it.....
TO....stop trying to drive a square peg into a round hole.....
You want answers that he doesn't have right now, and you can either live with that, or you can't. ..
