daring, I don't know how you are doing everything and trying to be patient w/a man child. Your S17 is most likely more mature than your h is right now. You can't do everything and if they are in his name, he needs to take care of the stuff that is running up fees. Yeah, he's working too, but he's not putting in the hours, trying to look after an ill mother, cleaning up mother's home and yes, taking care of children. All he has is himself...so what's his issue? He doesn't want to be bothered w/responsibility.
Daring, you are doing everything you can to take care of things. Make a list of the things he needs to do and sit him down and go over it and give him a deadline. It may or may not work, but at least you would have tried.
As for the car issue, I think it's a great idea for your S17 to use it. You wouldn't have had your mother taking your child to and from places in it if it weren't safe. As for your h voicing his opinion about it...guess what! He doesn't live under your roof any longer and his opinion has been noted, but the bottom line...it's your decision as to what is done about the car.
That conversation was a stressor for you and I do hope you'll feel better soon. As for being frustrated and angry, he'll get over it. You spoke your mind and no, I wouldn't apologize. He needs to sense your anger for a change and realize that you mean business.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
