Going through D

[Rita]

I think sometimes the replies one gets here sound so harsh and critical. We all have a long way to go, but it's great that you have started that journey! All of us here have made so many mistakes we regret, and I think if any of us knew how long our stand would be, we would not have undertaken it. But let me assure you from experience that if you commit yourself to improving yourself, God will notice, your W will notice, everything will change. But it will take a LOOOOOOONG time. I remember when I started this in Dec of 2013, I thought it would be done by the fall. By the fall, I thought it couldn't get worse. Then in the fall I got breast cancer and had to go through that without any support from my in-home prodigal. And now i understand I could have another year, another two, another three, and I just have to wait and commit myself to becoming a light and not worrying about what he is doing or thinking or noticing. He did write me a beautiful birthday card this year, after forgetting my birthday for two years in a row before that, and it was all about how watching me in the past year, he feels I am the quintessence of "good character." I realized that slowly, slowly, slowly, he is seeing me in a new light. And I want to be a light to him, but now I want most of all to be a light to everyone, not just him. But it only works if you commit yourself to working on yourself from now til the day you die. And you can pray by telling God you are angry, do that for a while until something new hits your heart, it will, if you ask God to change your heart especially but maybe even if you don't, worked for Job! It did for me.

A book that helped me so much is "Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering."

Rejoice Ministries daily e-mail helped me a lot too.