train, 25yrs, others who kept up on my sitch

[Complex]

Well, I'm not an expert by any means and I'm sitting in my own mess right now, but PLEASE stop sleeping with him. I think everyone would agree. You found yourself in a vicious cycle.
If you can afford it, get some phone coaching and then follow strictly what they are saying. You need guidance.

That he is saying he doesn't want divorce but he doesn't know if he can be with you forever is bs, sorry. He probably has self esteem issues and too bad his therapist was horrible.
You need to DB PROPERLY, warm him up enough so you get him to find another therapist.
Re read the section in DR where Michelle explains how to find a good therapist or even the whole book again. Refresh your mind. Stay active as much as you can here. I know how foggy everything can be especially when you spend so much time with your spouse in separation mode.

Talk less too. Talking was my biggest enemy DBing. I don't know what else to tell you, not experienced with your situation but stay strong, be in charge of the moment and yourself!!!