So it seems obvious that you have difficulty letting go of things and are just angry and frustrated. Much may have stemmed from your job situation, but you let that anger consume you. I mean for you to blame God for your not finding a job is a stretch.
Look, I've worked with kids and adults with terminal diseases and they don't get angry. Sure some do. But the ones who CHOOSE to not be angry live better lives.
My next question would be, have you read DB or DR? If you did, then you would know that especially in your case, the only way your W would even want to look back your way is if you start seriously changing. You say you're working with a therapist, but from your post (especially the one about your MIL), the anger is very evident.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
