Well I guess I'm in a new chapter of my story. W has gotten a short term job working with OM's boss so she is moving to OM's city. I'm staying dark and only initiating conversations related to business. I sent W an email acknowledging she restarted the affair and telling her I could no longer support her in any way while she blatantly disrespects myself, our family, and our marriage by continuing the affair. She hasn't responded and hasn't acknowledged that I know the affair is ongoing.
She previously was pushing the idea that the affair was over and attempting to convince me I was crazy for thinking otherwise. I've maintained a few sources of Intel to verify the truth since the affair and that has helped me to steer clear of deception. W was a very honest and open person before the A, but has turned into a habitual liar on many things, big or small. She has also become an alcoholic, going to bars nearly every night of the week. Occasionally visiting strip clubs. She has cut off contact with many friends who have attempted to support our marriage by showing W tough love. Her fathers side of the family keeps in regular contact with me, they happen to be very successful and reasonable, down to earth folks. Before the affair W looked up to all of them and pursued the career path she is in as a result of interests she shares with them & after much encouragement from them. Now that her career choices are taking her down this path, their support seems to be fading.
I've become very involved in my local church, play on a basketball team, meet with several friends, mentors, a pastor, and a therapist regularly. I'm going back to school for an advanced degree as well. I've been working out regularly and finding new hobbies.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. As I get closer, it's looking like W won't be a part of it, although I'm still open to reconciling under certain conditions. I know I will be okay even though things aren't going the way I want them to. I'm trusting that God has a plan through all this and I'm attempting to make shrewd decisions all along the way.
I'm thankful for this forum and many close friends, family, and wise counselors for carrying me this far. For all of you just in the first days, weeks, months after your own DDay, let me tell you it DOES get better over time IF you follow the advice to get a life, emotionally detach from your spouse, and let go of controlling the outcome of your situation. Yes it still hurts, but start building your new life now that will survive regardless of your spouse's decisions.
UpperCut Me: 28 W: 25 Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home) S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15) No kids
