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[Panthr]

Wow, I guess I needed to hear that. Obviously the rings have no meaning to her whatsoever. I guess I saw security in them because its an outward sign. Yes, I'll stop obsessing over this. I realize the problems and great and they are many.

Great point about the fact that we are getting along --part of me always wants to believe that when she gets like that its a postive sign and she is having second thoughts even for a second. So, I'm not sure if I understand the point of "continuing to being her friend things will continue".

I'd like to think I've done a lot to change....I workout, lost weight, make sure I'm impeccabley groomed all of the time, have been going out more with friends, and even silly things like drinking a beer at home, amongst other things. As silly as it sounds, I've even made myself LESS useful around the house.I've never said "look at me, look at what I'm doing for us, see I've changed!" 've allowed her to noticer the changes which I think she has because she mentioned during our last blowup. There are some things I'm doing that she doesn't even ened to know --I've committed to a Tough Mudder race in Aug but haven't mentiond to her becaue its not about her.

I've been a steady, calm , in control person. a true 180 would be to play the game and take off my ring and become a yeller. ;-)

I don't pursue physcially, beg, plead. I don't ask. I can honestly say I haven't shed a tear in front of her. I've been on with your rules and I guess that is what makes it frustrating. When we do speak --- I do try talk to her like she's a friendly neighbor.