Mighty,

Not trying to nit-pick...

Pointing out the thought process you have.

When the kids are with xh, it is HIS responsibility to decide on and provide the location. Not yours.

If next door is not a good place for your kids to be, the burden to fix that is on HIM. Not you.

You are still solving his problems.

I understand the kids being the priority. It may not be comfortable there. It may not be the "preferred" thing to do.

But you HAVE to let go of some of that need to decide and control in order to take care of yourself.