I woke up all overwhelmed and discouraged. Same ol' Same ol'
A million things running through my head. All of these Shoulds and more Shoulds and, then, some more Shoulds...
So, I stopped. Just stopped it.
With the very first issue I was asked to put out in October, I froze. I went into the office and sat there and froze. So, I sat there, realizing I wasn't getting anything done and knew I needed to get somewhere quiet and put the paper together in peace. That's when Perfectionist Editor panicked because he couldn't find me. I had retreated in order to gain some clarity and the get the job done.
He panicked. He pulled in the reigns on that very first deadline...actually it was the day before deadline and I became a hamster on a wheel ever since...Trying to be here and drive there and do this and do that to make the powers that be happy.
So, this morning. I did what I had wanted to do that first morning...albeit I wasn't anywhere as prepared in October as I am now...I retreated. It's 1 p.m. and I have 2/3's of the newspaper ready for captions and proofs.
I did what works for ME. I didn't pressure myself to get all dressed and made up and drive another 40 minutes where I need to get settled all over again and situated, etc... I stayed put. Had my coffee, started slowly and built momentum until Page 3 was done by 9:30 a.m. Then, I put things in place for Page 4. Then, Page 8 and so on...
The tutor came today and was WONDERFUL with D12. WONDERFUL. D12 had, probably the best day she has had since we arrived. Schoolwork is done and so are chores. The jury is still out on this tutor/girl's reliability...but, man do I like what I see. She is so good with D12. She has her going to the art classes tomorrow that D12 stomped and ranted about yesterday. She is going tomorrow!! To art class with a bunch of other kids her own age!!!
I still have to go out this afternoon/evening to get some pics and I have to write my column. But, man! This is the best prepared I've been since I started. And! It's all local news!! Haven't borrowed a single story from the Times :-)
Atta Girl Heather!!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
