When communicating with complete strangers (long story about how I know this...) she is very harsh about me and our relationship... Says things like:
- never really loved her - have been trying to make it work for years (um, no, not if you haven't communicated to me that it was so bad that it needed that much work...) - really dislike her now - should have broken up years ago - referring to me as GF instead of W
When communicating with family members and close friends:
- have just been unhappy for a long time - love her as a person, but no longer in love - she's a good person, great mom, etc. but...
So the tone is completely different depending on who she is speaking to about us. With people who know me, the tone is softer... With strangers, very harsh...
All of this is in complete contrast to her words, actions, and behaviors to me up until October -- all of which conveyed that she has continued to love me deeply and completely, and considered us to be married/wives, etc.
I know I can't psychoanalyze her, and I know that I need to not believe what she says and does right now... But I do find the change of tone interesting... She seems to seek out opportunities to share her current life drama with these complete strangers -- almost as if to use those communication opps for rewriting our history, convincing herself, and justifying her actions...
She continued to be nice to me throughout the weekend and even this morning a little bit... But I do notice that she is very "short" or uncivil with me when it is time for each of us to go to our separate areas of the house... Not sure if that's her anger at me over the fact that I'm still in the house (and occupying the master bedroom while she continues to sleep on the couch), or if it's an expression of some unconscious guilt/anger at herself... Whatever it is, it happens quickly -- she can be very nice one moment, but as soon as I say I'm going upstairs and goodnight Mr. Hyde comes out very quickly...
Not planning to do much with all of this information... Just noticing it and sharing it here.
My focus continues to be on me... I've started meditating in the mornings when I get up and continuing to pray/engage in a spiritual practice to help me gain more focus on what I need to be doing/learning/growing within myself.
And keeping those prayers going for the dream job :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
