Flood of unexpected emotions last night. Most of them not very useful. I have been so focused on the separation now that we are starting to come out the other side the emotions of all the things that happened to get us here are coming to the surface. Like I said, most of them not useful at all or conducive to marriage restoration, for that matter.
Fist, let me validate you. Your feelings are not abnormal.
When people are forced into a long-term crisis they have no emotional option but "survive." However when they finally see the "rescue ship" other emotions are permitted inside and they start to flood the system. This is when people tend to get into a lot of trouble.
Do not be fooled. You haven't been "rescued" yet.
If your wife returns to the marriage the rebuilding process will take a long time. And, during this time, you must have a strong handle on your emotions. Especially the emotion that demands justice.
I would suggest you develop a vision board. Something concrete that you can look at when you get overwhelmed. I would build the vision board like a pyramid.
On the foundation of the vision board is the smallest of goals (friendly conversation on a daily basis, obtaining a genuine smile, etc.) The next set of goals can be small displays of intimacy such as a brush of her hand across your arm, a wink, etc.
Go to the vision board when your feelings start to overwhelm. It will serve two purposes:
(1) It will show you how far you have traveled. (2) It will remind you that you still need to reach your goal.
