Wow, you're right about our sitches being almost identical! So you're reach detachment, too? Heck yes, it feels great
As far as my WAW's OM and my detachment, it was just a coincidence, or possibly divine intervention as I don't know if I could have handled that knowledge while I was thoroughly attached. I had my "lightswitch" moment about a week before WAW admitted to her A that had ended 2 weeks prior.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23