Strong EA after 2 yrs M #2 - The journey begins

[Complex]

Finished reading DR. I was so positive ader 25years last post. It made me feel good about myself and my plans.

Then I got home. W completely dark on me for 2 days. Bag of oranges on the floor which means she saw her dad^^. But she's already in bed, which is very early for her. So she's going out of my way. Maybe she told him. I hope not, wanted to stretch that a bit in my interest but if so its ok. Nothing I can control.

But after finishing DR I felt rather worse than more motivated haha. I feel like my wife is so far away that I'm actually in the 'after last resort stage' or at least in between the 'last resort' and 'alr' stage. And there isn't much written about the truly hard cases. And my wife assured me many times now that M doesn't exist anymore. Guess I have to face the reality that even for DB standard I'm pretty damn screwed^^

There also isn't a lot mentioned how to deal with family.
I know its going to come up soon. My gut is telling me.
So I'm asking again, what's the standard DB approach to family in law?
(Considering parents are divorced, but fathers side family is HUGE and they all love me and there are a ton of family obligations).
A) how do I deal best with the "coming out"? W decision? Decide together? Boundaries?
B) how much contact to FIL should I have. Right now I don't feel like going NC with them. I love them all a lot but what's a heatlhy balance between staying in touch, what they actually should know or not know and not acting like I want to turn them against W?

Just by reasonable thinking I would approach it like this: "they can know that we have problems and are separated but thry need to let us figure everything out ourselves, but they can be there for us if we need them"!?!?!


After all I feel better about myself and DBing and are confident that I can pull some 180s off this week.