Requesting support and direction

[RosaLinda]

Basically it left me feeling like I've now pushed her out... And honestly like ice just doomed things

Her choices are why she's moving out and whether or not things are doomed. If respecting yourself means she can't bring another person into the M, then why would you say YOU pushed her out? Were you willing to continue the way things have been recently?

If you will act as if you are already D from her, it will be the best thing for both of you. You will learn to detach and move on with your life. She will get a reality check and maybe come out of the fog. I can see how being separated would be emotionally better. There have been others who S and when the WAW finally got her head together, they were able to reconcile. However, many couples try to have in-house S (which never works) and things continue to get worse until she divorces him.

hey Andy! I figured with 25 and Sandi posting to you, you don't need my help any more, but I'm following all of your posts and wanted to drop by and say hi! You seem like you're doing really well, so glad you had a fun time at your GAL activity, all dressed up in new clothes too

I'm agreeing with Sandi's advice for your sitch here. I don't know if you ever read my story, but my H became sort of obsessed with Russia and Russian women, and had a slew of EAs and PAs with women living in Russia. After standing around 5 years, living together in our home, I finally got fed up and gave him an ultimatum, his current Russian girlfriend or me. He chose her, I filed for D (final last May), kicked him out, and he moved to Moscow last August.

Now, after 5 months, my ex has returned to the US. He sent me a couple of emails apologizing for running away to Russia (but NOT for his affairs). He claimed that he is a changed man, realizes he still loves me and wants to come home.

I do not feel he has done the work necessary to change at all, and that these are just words, he is reading from the next page in the MLC script, but they are words I've never heard from him before. I am beyond done with him and would not take him back in any circumstances, but Sandi's statement that maybe if you "detach and move on with your life, maybe your W will get a reality check and come out of the fog," made me think that maybe if I had done this earlier, instead of waiting 5 years, maybe things might have turned out differently.