First off, you ARE NOT A WIMP!!! You are as far from a wimp as anyone I've ever heard of. You have handled things with great grace and strength. I actually am not surprised that xh is going back on much of what he said. The change was sudden and it was mostly just what he SAID and you know the first rule about believing what they say. Like I said last week you can't be sure of anything including xh going back to her. Think about how she has been playing on his emotions, using the baby as an excuse to see him, etc. The fact that xh just wants things to be like before except he doesn't want to have any responsibility to YOU.
Just like a typical MLCer, he expects you to understand the stress he's been under but acts like you have no stress at all. He is being selfish as ever. The only thing that has changed is he no longer is sure about hww being the answer to finding happiness. He is still all about him. You saw what you wanted to see when he left his and hww's house (yes, it's not HER place, it's THEIR place). He is the most selfish person I have ever seen. He is on a path of destruction with no thoughts at all of anyone else, not you, not his kids with you, not his new baby, not hww. No one matters to him but him.
I think you need to stop thinking of it as him rejecting you. It's him being crazy, not acting rationally, being really stupid. If he isn't willing to make any effort he needs to stop treating your home like it's his...it's not. God, MLCers are just so blind. They act like no one else has feelings, deserves respect.
Mighty, I really understand that you wanted to think that xh was getting better, wanted to believe from what he was saying that he was starting to come out of his fog. I would have probably done the same in your position. Time to understand that he isn't respecting boundaries. I think it's time for him to stop thinking he can get support from you and you getting zero in return. I get exactly how you feel. You really don't need someone but dang, it sure is nice to have it. You have been having to be strong not just for you but for your kids as well for a long time. It only natural that you would like to have someone to be strong for you, too. Don't beat yourself up for that. But don't let it hold you back either.
Believe it or not there will come a time when you won't need to be so strong all the time. Hang in there, your time is coming!
