It's Sunday. D7 is at H's this weekend and since tomorrow is MLK day, that means through tomorrow.
I have quite literally done nothing. Well, I went out to dinner with friends on Friday to celebrate a birthday but since then, nothing. I have read a lot and napped. I went to yoga yesterday morning...
ok, maybe not NOTHING...
... but nothing substantial or really productive and I'm feeling guilty.
Plus, I'm very alone, very lonely.
This morning H, D7 and I met for breakfast. H invited me. I never know if he's being kind so I can see D midway through his long weekend with her or if he's reaching out to me because he genuinely wants to see me. I'm guessing it's the former rather than the later because it just doesn't seem like he has much to say.
It's hard to watch him with D7 sometimes because he is ALL OVER HER about eating and I have to consciously bite my tongue. I'm of the "pick your battles" philosophy and D7 is a huge negotiator which creates a slippery slope but he just hounds her for the entire meal making it unpleasant for all of us. He doesn't realize this though and I sure as hell won't be bringing it up.
All of this silence brings about lots of daydreaming which I don't think is all that healthy. I have to remind myself, "hey, remember he's not all that introspective so it's not like he's going to suddenly realize you're not the root of all evil in his life and he's not going to suddenly be Mr. Accountable and Mr. Responsible and own up to his own feelings and his role in anything whatsoever so stop day dreaming little missy."
Then I try to lead my thoughts back to me and where I want to go and what I want to do and then I realize I'm kind of tired of thinking about all that.
