If the people advising you are saying that a demonstrable NC letter and full transparency are NOT worth insisting on, and if they're saying tgat your need to see remorse is "controlling," then I would strongly question the quality of the advice you're getting, as this is pretty mainstream, standard stuff.
Do these people have experience in dealing with infidelity???
Starsky
Completely agree. I've just just been shaking my head here confused.
As far as you being controlling, supposedly, that characteristic should come in handy for your wife when she finally decides to allow you to hold her accountable for her behavior going forward.
Your wife has a weakness. She enjoys the attentions of other men. She makes herself available to allow her needs to be met by other men and she allows other men to cross boundaries with her. She really shouldn't be trusting herself around other men and should, in the future, be counting on you to hold her accountable for her actions.
We all need persons to hold us accountable in life. This isn't suggesting a punishment or a prison. She's not your ward and you are not the prison guard, rather, she finally decides to put your marriage on a pedestal and TOGETHER you protect it by being watchful and controlling of EACH OTHER.
It's been a decade for me. My wife and I share a Facebook account. We don't lead independent lives, instead we lead dynamic interdependent lives. We each have full access to each other friends, technologies (passwords) and lives.
Is this the same OM from 2 years ago???
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
