First of all, I want in on that weekend...just sayin.
Mighty, would you want to have any kind of conversation if you were him? Not saying that's right. Just saying that after what he's done and all...I'm thinking that he would just like you to forget it and pretend it all didnt happen as it did.
The thing about you having power and control, at least in my eyes is this. You get to decide how you act. You get to decide what you say. You get to determine how you feel about him and about yourself. You get to decide if you are willing to try with him or not.
You do have power in all this. A great deal of it. I think that you have these ideas in your head of how he should act if he really wants back in. But they may not be the same ideas he has. I would imagine he is thinking he will just slip back into his old life with a little variation regarding his responsibility to the baby and you will be ok with that.
The power is again yours in that you get to decide if you are on board.
What I honestly think is that you need to come to terms with all the has happened in a short amount of time, M, before you can really figure out what you want.
This is huge stuff that transpired. Huge. And you have been on autopilot for awhile. Putting out fires with your son, getting divorced, your mom being sick, your xh having an affair and a baby, etc.
I think you should put off even trying to decide what you want for right now and just work on coming to terms with all that's happened.
Find your footing, M. Regroup some.
And really accept that your xh has to figure his stuff out. He cant do that while looking over his shoulder at you. He just cant.
Then take the time to really look at what you want and what that looks like.
As long as you are so focused on him and where his is and if he calls, you cant figure out Mighty.
