Did I just blow this?

[Sotto]

Hi N Guy. I agree with you about the remorse - absolutely. And I think that needs to come from a deep level. There needs to be a real appreciation of the great hurt and trauma caused.

Humility? I'm not so sure about that....

But there does need to be a strong desire to rebuild things - along the lines of "I'll do whatever it takes for this to work..."

I also think that ending the A and recommitting to the M are two different things. They may happen at the same time or they may not....

I would be careful about the control issue. To me, this is about being clear what things need to be in place for you before you feel able to invest the time and commitment that piecing takes.

For example - instead of saying "I wanted to feel her remorse" you are saying "in order for me to do X, I would need to see Y." I wonder if you are pushing a little too much here and wonder if perhaps you may want to step back until your W voluntarily offers the things you are currently trying to draw out of her.