This is called cake eating. I.e. He can have his A and also have you when he feels he needs some support (emotionally, sexually, financially, etc.)
You'll see it's a pretty common thing on here and reeks Havoc on a LBS. Especially because it looks like what we crave, some closeness from our spouse. Biggest way to see if it's poo-poo or not is consistent actions. If he's close to you then goes out with someone else, cake eating.
My heart goes out to you and your kids in all of this, I read your story and literally wish I could jump through the Internet and just give you a hug, you have a lot to deal with. However you found this website, it was for a reason. Read through here and you'll find some comfort that you are not alone in your struggles.
I agree with others that unless H has a life change, the behavior and manipulation he has done to you is inexcusable. All of us in here have tried or are still trying to 'convince' our spose to change or see their actions, etc. If you read the vets posts, you'll see it's futile. The only way they can change is if they decide themselves.
As much as you probably don't feel it, you are in control of you and your DD. Make a plan, even if you don't follow it, you'll see that you can make this work. Let him stumble around and see what he lost.
Take care of yourself. It's so easy to stop eating, sleepless nights, constant musings. I lost 30lbs in the first 6 weeks without even trying. Since you are pregnant, make sure that the baby comes first and don't allow this to happen. Get sleep, force yourself to eat, talk to others to keep your sanity.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
