Thanks. I have been making up excuses for not GAL, filling my free time with solitary things, which cause me to think about the sitch the whole time. It's good as I'm not depressed, lack motivation, etc. I need to be social at work and home is always where I recharged from that..
I see there are things I enjoyed earlier in life that I gave up as I got older. Not because of M, but work, kids, etc. I've debated going back to some of those things, but find myself making excuses for why I can't.
No. 3 is one that sticks out that I need to identify on the fly and work on. I find myself getting pulled in and/or trying to analyze interactions I had with W on this board, both of which have zero value. I guess, to put my logic to it, I'm trying to learn how to 'work' with her as she's acting now, which is probably a cheese-less tunnel.
No. 4 above is totally this board, the IC and some select others. I'm a talker and have to talk things through, it's a godsend for me. I'm upset about the sitch, but always have felt there's a good place on the other side of dealing with this, with W or without.
No. 9 is what I need to work the most on. As you know, I've been getting boundaries confused with expectations. Like asking not to have OM around kids, expecting more Communication, etc.
So over in the TLEE thread, TSquared posted something about his sitch and his W. It hit home in how I feel (and what others close to us have said) about our M. It was interesting, because he used some of the same words that W used on me. I guess the good thing is that W has identified it for herself when she left and could be working through what she needs to in order for us to get a chance to R.
Also, footnote to this week. I took my ring off the other day. A lot of people ask me about why it's still on. However last week, IC questioned me on it and used it as an example of why W and I are in totally separate places right now with regards to our R. Her statements were good, but were part of what cause my musings on here.
I tried taking it off a couple months ago and it didn't feel right, I broke down after about 1 day and decided to put it back on. It's different now. Not because I'm giving up on M, but more because I see its not going to affect the outcome of my sitch. Taking it off was, for me, recognition, that I need to fully hand this over to God, a piece of metal is not going to do a hill of beans.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
