Devastated Husband; Need Advice...Part 2

[Sotto]

This is something I've been thinking about too. I did a lot of 'fixing and organising' in our M - and took on a 'parenting' role at times. Was it a nurturing parent - mostly, I think. But there's also an element that if we're doing things for others, that we think we'll do them better, or sooner etc.

My H hasn't specifically said this to me. But since BD, it seems really important for him to do and figure things out for himself. He really doesn't want my help with that. Yesterday we spoke, and I offered to look something up for him about our rabbit. He said straightaway, quite firmly "no. I'll do that."

So, I think it is really important to "back off" and let our Ss do things their way. The comment - "allow someone the dignity of having their own struggles" - or something along those lines, struck a chord with me too.