The huge dynamic in our R was my fixing/rescuing/protecting her. That dynamic drove her to feeling like a child, with me as the parent. One of many things I've learned in my time here is that fixin' is for things, not people
Sorry for the highjack here.....
TSquared2,
Woah, I read this post and I see my R to a T. My wife even said this exact thing during BD. That she always felt like I was her parent. I never saw it that way at all, nor did I act that way.
Even what you were saying about BDing, how you start off looking at just the good in the M and then all the bad, then even out. Right now I'm looking at just the bad. I see things in our R that 'I' wasn't happy with, but went along with them anyway. I figured they were just part of marriage. They were if our marriage was healthy, but are not seeing the deceit and lies that she was using to cover up things.
Also, I'm starting to understand what you are saying about coming back out of convienance and not to reconcile the R. I'm not there yet nor may I ever be there, but I could see this happening to me and me falling back into the pattern of 'rescuing' and/or 'protecting' her from the decisions she's making.
highjack over, thanks for posting....
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
