Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #6

[LoveMyW]

Hey LoveMyW. Thank you for your support.

You know... I'm tired of the "don't reply to her texts too soon" thing. Timing texts makes me think too much of her. If she sends a text that needs answering... I answer as briefly and as soon as possible as other have suggested I do. Like I would to a co-worker I don't know well. If it's something nasty or personal... I don't respond at all.

I've been answering her phone calls since Wednesday b/c she said she appreciated a talk I initiated then and she likes to talk. But honestly... she's pushing it with the amount of phone calls again. That's how I'm feeling right now. I want to go 4 weeks with no R talk and only seeing her at our son's basketball games.

I saw your W also says you're childish b/c you don't return texts. And then you find out she wanted to ask you about something minor. Same here. I'm seriously tempted to get a GF and just block her phone calls!

Good luck to you.

I think the whole not replying too soon thing can be a bit that way, but I must admit that it has helped me to NOT think about her as much.. I know that my W has texts set up to get a notification when a sent text is open so I just won't read it until I'M ready.. This means seeing any possible spew or anything is done when I am ready.. The way I see it, if it's a true emergency then my phone would be blowing up with calls and if I wasn't answering them then a family member from either side would get a hold of me..

The other side of that option to not answer straight away to unimportant stuff is that is gives off an aura that you are not sitting by the phone and are out GAL'ing even when you aren't.. It shows the whole "moving on" aspect which in turn helps detachment..

With the chatting, I think we can recognise together that interaction between us and our respective W's is there, which is a big thing.. It may not be perfect all the time but the lines are open.. We have all seen sitch's here where an LBS has absolutely no contact with WAS etc..

Yes, that came out today from my W that it was childish.. Just take that comment in and have it leave as validation.. I've decided that comments like that won't roll off me like water off a ducks back.. That's my choice though as I would rather act like a tree.. Take in the bad/spew/insults and return them as a positive experience.. I'm not saying I wallow in what is said, and if anything that's far from the truth..

Part of my reason behind that is the temper that I showed throughout my R/M.. In not a bad, violent or abusive person by any stretch of the imagination, but I was also no angel.. We had your average arguments, but I'm the first to admit that I occasionally got a little too riled up which got the voice up etc..

This was part of her WAW leavers guide script but something I could honestly agree with (even she has mentioned that she blew it out of proportion).. This is one of my 180's for life now..